Lizards

5/14/20

Have you been trying to form a band but all your friends hate you? It's probably because you called your band some dumbass name like Cosmic Ripples or The Slow Forest or some shit. This is elementary knowledge, but if you throw a Lizard or two in your band and album name, you'll be headlining Desert Cactus Fest in no time! I went searching for as many Lizard albums as i could find, and as it turns out, pretty much the only (good) bands to make lizard themed albums are bands that take heavy non-prescription doses of psychedelics.  If you're a sober band making lizard albums, it's probably straight trash. If you made this list while maintaining your sobriety, congratulations, you fooled me. Regardless, treat this list as your musical Kahn Academy and bulk up your Lizard roladex. 

Veux-tu la Vie

by,

Alien Lizard

Time Traveling Space Exploration at it's finest! You can't exactly walk around the surface of Mars and fully experience the song Red Desert. But what you can do is buy a one way ticket to California from Denver's Union Station.  From there board the Zephyr train and after 18 or so hours, jump out of the window (at low speed) and explore the desolate Utah landscape. Make sure to bring your peyote and a snack for the hike.  

Lizard! Lizard! Lizard!

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Apollo80

Three times the lizards, three times the space exploration. This triple lizard whammy is the perfect compromise for those who are too scared to do any space exploration of their own, but dont want to surf through hundreds of hours of Apollo space recordings to achieve that. This Aussie Heavy Psych Space trio did all the work for you, you lazy sack of shit. 

04: Lizards of London (and other Tories​)​.

by,

Boobs of Doom

Did you listen to Apollo80 and think to yourself: "this isn't crunchy enough" ? Good, so did I.  Thankfully, Boobs of DOOM released this droney, electronic trip-metal(?) album to upload into your robotic pet lizard's external sound projector. 

Stories of the Astral Lizard

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The Re-Stoned

Maybe you came into this list hoping for some sort of Lizard metamorphosis to happen.  Well, here's your chance.  The greatest band to come out of Russia since Slaughter to Prevail, the Re-Stoned crafted quite possibly the greatest Lizard-themed album of the whole list.  For true human -> lizard transformation, wait until its 100+ degrees outside, and lay naked on a massive rock slab in the desert.  Bask in the sun and listen to the spacious and atmospheric instrumentals provided by this album until your transformation is complete. If you're not walking on all fours and dragging your belly in the sand by the time Fractal Panorama is over, then it's not meant to be, please close this page and be on your way. 

Benny Soebardja & Lizard

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Benny Soebardja & Lizard

The early days of lizard participation.  This experimental 1975 release from Indonesia is either called Lizard or Benny Soebardja & Lizard, and used to just exist on a handful of B-side cassettes supposedly.  I dont know anything about the lizards from that region, but they were probably pretty fucking righteous based on the sounds from this. This may be the rosetta stone of reptile music. 

Float Along - Fill Your Lungs

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King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Paving the way for mainstream Lizard peasants everywhere, these Lizard Kings have done more for Lizardheads than any other band on earth. Probably the most obvious and popular choice for this list, but to leave them off would have been a felony. So here is their honorable mention so we can move forward with our Lizard discoveries.  

Voice of Chunk

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The Lounge Lizards

Alright, so you just went back and listened to all 15 studio albums released by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and you're exhausted.  Voice of Chunk by The Lounge Lizards will be your palette cleanser.  This is for the more sophisticated Lizard that talks down on people that know nothing about jazz music.  If you so much as hear the name Miles Davis or John Coltrane, you can arrogantly interrupt them and say they would be nowhere, and nobodies if it wasn't for Voice of Chunk by The Lounge Lizards.  Who cares if it didn't come out until 1988, THIS is what jazz is all about, and fuck anyone who says otherwise. LIZARD UP, BOYS! 

The Lizardpope

by,

Weekly Words and Grammar

If you are a fan of metal bands like Liferuiner, Preschool Tea Party Massacre, Emmure, or Dr. Acula, mesh all of those bands together, and strain out every ounce of actual talent. What you're left with is this album. 10 tracks spanning a total of 6 minutes and 21 seconds. It's Nintendocore but shittier. Turn this album on, and by the time you realize just how to put into words how disappointed and confused you are, the album's already over. Listen to this if you bought a ten cent PetSmart lizard that died on the drive home. 

The Secret Dub Life of the Flying Lizards

by,

The Flying Lizards

Recorded in the 70's in Jamaica and not mixed until the 90's, here's a relaxed instrumental dub album to cool your jets after The Lizardpope. If you bootlegged a copy of Rango and it came without audio, just stream this in the background and you'll probably be fine. 

The Reign of the Lizards, Vol. 2

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Sesiones Del Dinosaurio

"Actually, Jamaica pisses me off, why don't you ever have Guatamalen music?" you say? Fine you little shit, here you go.  Here's yet another lizard praising instrumental album for your earholes, but this time in Spanish. 

Opus of the Lizard

by,

Nor Dar

Finally, no more instrumental albums. WRONG AGAIN! Another relaxed instrumental album, but this time from Athens Greece! If you like instrumental music but don't want to pigeonhole yourself into a specific region (and come across as an ignorant racist), do what i did, and put these all on a playlist and shuffle through that shit. (But don't you dare think there aren't a few more instrumental albums down the pipe. 

Goat

by,

The Jesus Lizard

You can leave this one off of the Lizard Instrumentals playlist.  Just some solid 90's punk/post-punk/hardcore to release some steam after having your tail ripped off by a curious 8 year old on his back porch. 

The Wizard Lizard

by,

SOULULAR

Looking to cash in on King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard search engine, SOULULAR named one of their albums after half of their band. Unfortunately it worked, and while this glitchy electronic album doesn't necessarily bring anything new to the electronic scene, it was all the more refreshing to listen to after 5 days straight of psych music. 

Marconi & the Lizard 

by,

Joe Acheson

As a field recording based album that is neatly arranged, it's quite good. 

The fact that it doesn't relate to lizards, whatsoever, sends me into a blind fury. 

0/10

This is cultural appropriation at it's finest.

Warm Blooded Lizard

by,

Nym

Do you like downtempo hip/hop beat tapes and spaghetti westerns? If you answered no, it's probably because you got touched by a John Wayne looking motherfucker when you were 12 at Coachella. If you answered yes, then do i have an album for you!

Pornado

by,

Piss Lizards

After seeing the name Piss Lizard - Pornado I started to rub my hands together in excitement, thinking i found some sort of lizard/human/tornado porngrind band.  I was bittersweetly surprised when i found out it was a decent 4 piece instrumental band.  Better sounding than their 30second album art suggests. So if you're not completely done hearing some improv instrumental jams, pull up that ole Piss Lizard, which is also what i now call my John Wayne when i go to the bathroom. 

Lizard

by,

King Crimson

Tired of Court of the Crimson King getting all of the King Crimson attention? Bring out this deep cut and impress everybody with your knowledge of the 22 minute B-side of this on vinyl.  You'll be the hippest kid at the party and it will guaruntee your invitation to future parties. (Seriously though, the B-side of this is goddam phenomenal and is actually about lizards.) 

Tomb of the Elder Lizards

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Alías

Some gloomy, ambient, dungeon crawling, dark drone, atmospheric shit.  If you're in a DND game, crawling through dungeons, bring this with you. 

Atomic Lizard Party

by,

The Terrorsaurs

We made it! The final album of the list. Kick back and pour yourself a jalapeño margarita from the back seat of your golf cart. The Terrorsaurs have an instrumental, beachy themed surf rock album for you.  One of the easiest albums to consume, especially after all the work you've put in thus far.  If you were able to check off every album on this list, email me with some form of verification, and i will mail you your very own Certified Lizard certificate. 

Duration of playlist: 13hr 44min

Social Links:

Alien Lizard - Spotify - Bandcamp

Apollo80 - Spotify - Bandcamp

Boobs of Doom - Spotify - Bandcamp

The Re-Stoned - Spotify - Bandcamp

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - Spotify - Bandcamp

The Lounge Lizards - Spotify 

Weekly Words and Grammar - Spotify - Bandcamp

The Flying Lizards - Spotify - Bandcamp

Sesiones Del Dinosaurio - Spotify - Bandcamp

Nor Dar - Spotify 

The Jesus Lizard - Spotify 

Soulular - Spotify - Bandcamp

Joe Acheson - Spotify - Bandcamp

Nym - Spotify - Bandcamp

King Crimson - Spotify 

Alias - Bandcamp

The Terroraurs - Spotify - Bandcamp

Alien

Me:

Bland.af