Planets

5/1/20

So you want to fly among the stars and visit the planets of our solar system but don't want to be left alone with your own thoughts in this 100,000 lightyear road trip? Well don't worry pussy, here's your audible road map to help guide you on your journey. From right here on Earth, to outside of the milky way galaxy, this playlist is all you'll need to block out the negative thoughts your brain intends on giving you with this surplus of alone time.  Don't forget, this is a long journey, so exercise patience and try not to die before you get to Uranus. 

The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull

by

Earth

Gather your things, take the last piss you'll ever take on Earth, and be prepared to leave, because takeoff is in 53 minutes. Try not to overthink things. 

The Blvck Sun II The Blood Moon

by

A Wake in Providence

Wow, first stop the Sun huh? Alright you cocky little dipshit, take one last look at the moon on your way out. The sun weighs in at a total of 1.989 × 10^30 kg's. That's a heavy-ass star, but not nearly as heavy as the gutturals and breakdowns in Behold, Thy King, or the crushing tunnel throats and blast beats of The Finite Infinite. You better not have gotten any plastic surgery lately, because that shit might melt right off your face before you even reach the corona.

Mercury

by

Faex Optim

After struggling to keep your flight path on course, you regain communication with ground control. The edibles you snuck onto your space vehicle are finally kicking in. This downtempo EP will suit you well on your time spent circling Mercury. 

Venus Fly

by

Magnificent Crumb

Hey it's actually kinda nice here. You found a nice abandoned crib here on Venus with Lemon-Lime Seltzers, weighted blankets, and a copy of the 500 Hats of Bartholemew Cubbins.  There is no longer a concept of time, so you may rest here as long as you like. 

Surviving Mars

(official Game Soundtrack)

Alright, slow down sporty spice. Way down. Like all the way down. Fuck it, just go to bed. This 5 HOUR long compilation of ambient, planetary soundscapes are all you need here on Mars. Rest up, and make sure you're space craft is in good enough condition to continue. 

Sane

by

Walking Across Jupiter

While exploring the gaseous surface that is Jupiter, you stumble upon a cache wann-a-bee Animals as Leaders music videos. (They must have come from Earth.)  In this archeological find you discover the best one of all, a 45 minute music video with one of the band members staring directly at the camera for the duration of the album.  He's not vibing to the music, providing commentary, or air-playing any of the instruments. He's just blank staring at the camera, then the ground, then back at the camera.... FOR 45 MINUTES STRAIGHT.  This was well worth the trip. 

 

 

ULTRA ウルトラ - セガ s a t u r n

by

visded

Need some time to decompress after all that?  Thirsty for some V A P O R W A V E ? Sure you are. Take this time to reminisce about the good days, before intergalactic space confrontations. Just remember, you chose to go on this journey, not me. 

Galactic Ass Creatures from Uranus

by

Detroit Grand Pubahs

This is obviously what you have been waiting for. The payoff for all of that hard work that you've put in so far. Since leaving earth all you could think about was diving face first into space butt.  You've been holding in the temptations to go spelunking in galaxy gooch.  Well now is your chance.  You have just flown into a buffet of cosmic, radioactive puss.  Tell those space officers that "you weren't doin nothin, you were just standing there mindin' yo business, tryin to roll your spliff." 

The Scales of Tahuti

by

Silas Neptune

You're out of space drugs. Its -353 degrees here on Neptune, and you've spent the last of your load on Uranus. You need all the help you can get to stay warm and optimistic about making your final approach to Pluto. Take this audio blanket and tuck yourself in.  If Sphongle grew up in a Saudi Arabian desert, his music would sound like this, probably. 

Super Heavy Galactic Stuff (FULL EP)

by

The Alex Jones Prison Planet

Dagnammit! You got intercepted by Alex Jones.  You didn't anticipate this, but really, who does?  You're just going to have to ride this one out. (just be careful, he's real upset and needs someone to listen to him.) You'll be alright as long as the intergalactic aliens don't blast off into hyper-dimensional space. 

Pluto

by

New Horizons Records

You made it! Congratulations!  That is no easy feat.  Stay for a while, this is the last star you will ever see. This may very well be the last 'thing' you see again besides ultra black darkness.  This 2 hour synthwave compilation is your victory lap. Recount on all that you've seen and all that you've done on this galactic journey. Don't think about where you're headed next, just enjoy the last of your time spent with this ex-planet. 

Farewell, Milky Way

by

The Legendary Pink Dots

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, you overshot Pluto.  You were too busy celebrating like a child that you sailed right back out of orbit and are now hurling out past our known existence. This is going to be a rough ride, prepare for some dark shit. You really shot yourself in the foot this time you bumbling fool. 

Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld

by

The Orb

That's it. Your trip is over. You can't tell if you're still flying or not. You're so deprived of hunger and sleep that you start to hallucinate in and out of dream-state consciousness. Your brain dumps the absolute last of its dopamine reserves into your system. This is your last sendoff. Good night. 

Empty

by

Nils Frahm

Duration of playlist: 16hr 45min

Social Links:

Earth - Spotify 

A Wake in Providence - Spotify

Faex Optim - Spotify

Magnificent Crumb - Spotify

Surviving Mars - Spotify

Walking Across Jupiter - Spotify

Detroit Grand Pubahs - Spotify

Silas Neptune - Spotify 

Alex Jones Prison Planet - Spotify

The Legendary Pink Dots - Spotify 

The Orb - Spotify

Nils Frahm - Spotify

Me:

Bland.af