Trips

6/7/20

Maybe you took the time during this pandemic closure to binge-watch all 142 episodes of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations and now you want to have a little excursion of your own.  Well, don't go out and hire an expensive travel advisor that will just suggest you take another cruise around the horn of Africa, select the trip that YOU wish to take from this free list below.  There's plenty of trips to choose from to fit your desired mood. Maybe you want to take a road trip into the country, or experience what it's like to walk through Hell.  Maybe you travel for a living and just want a simple pharmaceutically induced trip of your own, a "create your own adventure" if you will.  Be the captain of your own pilgrimage and experience the world from the comfort of your own living room.

Short Trip to Space

by

John Tropea

This isn't your typical trip to space album.  These aren't 18 minute long textured ambient soundscapes.  We aren't fighting space gods or trying to navigate through an asteroid belt the size of Texas.  We're in a lounge chair sharing a margarita with galaxy peacocks. We're on a space beach, surfing sea waves made of strawberry daiquiris and CBD oil. This is the music Randy Newman had sex to in the late 70's. 

Trip Thru Hell

by

C.A Quintet

Ever wonder what it would be like to get stuck in the 9 circles of Hell during a 1969 Minneapolis winter?  You want to get buried in a Marijuana field or get chased down by spiders?  Your torture options are endless if you're on a holiday to eternal damnation. Make sure your hydrated and have a safe-word, you're going to need it. 

Tripper + Springer

by

Efterklang

You want to adventurous, but you're scared.  You just dosed yourself up and thought a trip thru hell would be exciting, it wasn't, and now you're in your bathtub wondering if you'll ever be able to produce anything but anxiety ever again. Here is your hard reset button.  Tripper + Springer is here to chill you the fuck out.  This isn't a trip anywhere, this is a sound bath.  Fuck a bath bomb and candles, you have Efterklang. 

Trip in the Country

by

Area Code 615

Float down the Colorado river and slam 14 beers in 2 hours with this Nashville Supergroup.  Crawl out of the boat and piss in the running water. Cliff dive off a rock that's way higher than you would normally feel comfortable with.  Eat an entire can of sour cream and onion Pringles because you "need the salt" Question why you don't attend more bluegrass music festivals. Get a full body sunburn and fall asleep in the grass by noon. 

Anatomy of a Trip

by

Void Generator & Da Captain Trips

Here is your Anatomist literature for the evening. You didn't plan on going to medical school when this playlist started but goddammit you'll be a licensed Trip Physiologist by the time it's over. Let your trip captain lead the way while you absorb as much knowledge as possible from these essential medical field workers. If you think this is just another psych-stoner-space-instrumental-jam-sludge album from Rome, you're a fucking moron and need to go back to school.  The outro of this album is a 22 minute voiceless lecture on Metaphysical Suspension, and don't you dare try and tell me you already know everything there is to know about Metaphysical Suspension. 

Moon Trip Radio

by

Clams Casino

The last radio signals to ever be broadcasted.  Social Distancing has been taken to the extreme. No human contact within 8 miles of one another.  The last remaining broadcaster is left alone in the station to fend for himself.  He has barricaded himself in and hasn't eaten in days.  Enjoy the last minutes of terrestrial radio.  

A Trip to Asia

by

S!X - Music

Are you really going to jump on a 15+ hour flight (assuming you're from middle America somewhere) to Asia amidst a global pandemic? You really want to breathe in recycled air for almost entire day just to do some light traveling? Fat chance there, Jack! These lads already made a trip-hop album of what that sounds like, so you can breathe clean fresh air wherever you want.  You don't even have to sit next to an overweight man with VR goggles watching a hentai strip tease only 3 hours into your trip either.  

Bad Trip

by

Arschloch, Der Das

The first grindcore band to be mentioned since bland.af's inception.  Mexican Weed-Grind at it's finest.  Cats and Weed, that's it.  If this isn't your style of music, i'm sure you're capable of figuring that out in the first several seconds.  If you're curious what it's like to smoke a salvia blunt and lock yourself in a room with a starving, stray cat in heat, then here's your chance. 

Aural Trip

by

Electronic Emotions

Look, i'm sorry, alright?  You don't think ambient dreamscapes are real music? Well neither is grind-core, or pop-country. Every once in a while you just need some noise in the background to drown out the city's construction workers, tearing up the streets to install new water pipes.  You think Moby is a fucking lame and you don't want to just type in "waterfall sounds" into YouTube.  You want to be more sophisticated than that, so just throw on Electronic Emotions by Aural Trip.  You can even leave on a comment on YouTube saying "wow, i transcended into another universe at 13:46" and reap those sweet YT-points.  People will think you're so sophisticated in your music listening abilities they'll feel like shit for not noticing those subtle textures first. 

Heavy Trip

by

Heavy Trip

These guys may not be licensed medical officials like Void Generator and Da Captain Trips, but they clearly know a thing or two about the anatomy of a trip.  Apparently the trip is made up of 20% electrical guitar, and 80% drenched reverb.  Who'd a thunk that trip-based albums would be so psychadelic. 

Jazz Satánico

by

Larrea Trip

Ever wonder what was happening inside that mysterious 4 story house with the extra tall fences?  Every once in a while you see cars lined down the street and you know for a fact that at least a hundred people are in that house, but you have no idea whats happening, and somehow you haven't seen anybody come or leave.  There's a good chance that everyone in that house is wearing an animal mask for some sort of moon-cycle specific party, filled with marble countertops of blow and midget-sized butlers.  Half of the women are naked and the guys are drinking 80 year old gin out of golden hand-carved chalices.  There's probably an exotic bird of some sort and each room the guests enter is painted a specific color based on what color glow stick they were given at the door.  There's a band playing Jazz Sátanico in the basement and nobody has noticed that they finished the album hours ago and have just restarted everytime they finish the outro.  If they stop playing, the owner of the home will shoot them dead on the spot with a musket he acquired when he purchased that plot of land. 

An Unoccupied Mind

by

Dann Graham's Tripping Hazard

What's it like to skip breakfast and drink too many cups of Cafe Bustelo coffee, only to then try and write a 15 page research paper about safe sleeping practices? This album is the equivalent of giving 3 strangers carte blanche to turn your thought patterns into a telephone switchboard. Good luck being productive.  

The Triplets of Belleville

by

Benoît Charest + others

Perfect album to play while you compete in the Tour De France, only to get kidnapped by the French Mafia.  

Stay Trippy

by

Juicy J

Listen, no part of me is going to pretend that this is a good album.  This album is straight trash-ass garbage.  This is the 90day fiance of hip hop albums.  The rhymes are so elementarily cringe that my i physically recoil and audibly groan every time they hit me.  This is the music equivalent of watching Hoarders to feel better about yourself.  A horny 8th grader probably wrote these lyrics on the side of his notebook during his 21st Century History class. That being said, over 3 million people watched the last season of 90 Day Fiance.  They don't watch it for the incredible cinematography, or the complex story lines.  They watch it so that their stomach hurts from lack of self-awareness and cringe inducing dialogue that these fucking brain dead, horny, middle aged men put on the screen.  Listening to this album gives me a physically cringe inducing reaction, much like watching 90 Day Fiance, and for that reason alone, i had it burned onto a cd, and i listened to that shit in my car until it could no longer read it properly, in which case i through it out the window driving down Squaw Pass one winter. If it came out that this album was written and recorded in 1 go during the engineers lunch break, i would not be surprised in the slightest. 

"I got your bitch on a Molly, she ride me like a Ducati
If giving head had a college, she would be summa cum laude"

Duration of playlist: 10hr 53min

Social Links:

John Tropea - Spotify - Bandcamp

C.A Quintet - Spotify - Bandcamp

Efterklang - Spotify - Bandcamp

Area Code 615 - Spotify

Void/Da Captain Trips - Spotify - Bandcamp

Clams Casino - Spotify - Bandcamp

S!X - Music - Spotify - Bandcamp

Arschloch, Der Das - Spotify - Bandcamp

Electronic Emotions - Bandcamp

Heavy Trip - Spotify - Bandcamp

Larrea Trip - Spotify - Bandcamp

Dann Grahams Tripping Hazard - Spotify - Bandcamp

Benoit Charest - Spotify 

Juicy J - Spotify 

Me:

Bland.af